Who You Surround Yourself With Matters
This message is one that Libertas Real Estate founder and transformational coach Justin Thorstad never tires of using. But what does it really mean and why it is so important, especially for people that are on their own transformational journey? In Justin’s own words, he breaks it down.
In the journey to becoming one’s best self, Justin notes that the path along the way is just as important as reaching and achieving those personal goals. Because along the path “it’s about who you’re becoming through the journey of reaching that goal,” he says. He credits a friend for sharing a quote that got him thinking about the journey, and who is along for the ride. The quote is “The only pain in change is your resistance to it.”
“What would it be like to accept reality unfolding and to not get triggered by it, not suffer from it and not be in pain because of it?” He asks, suggesting that instead what might it be like to face those fears that everyone has within — those doubts, worries, shame, guilt, insecurities — and then just notice and realize why one is in resistance to them.
He says it’s important to go three layers deeper to analyze why one is in resistance to change, then make a subtle shift, and let it go. In doing this Justin says, “You’re no longer experiencing those triggers and that pain. You’re transforming into a new personality with a new way to think, feel and behave. And that creates a new reality.”
He also encourages those on a transformation of their own to consider what they are doing to point out their own blind spots to face their fears and transcend some of the insufficiencies of the ego. He shares he recently hired a new coach that he’s been wanting to work with to help him point out his own blind spots and to address some of his fears to get the root of some of the things that are holding him back. He notes specifically that he wanted to align with someone “bigger and better” to help him do so.
He advises, “Pay attention to your tribe. Who is around you, who is in your environment?” He says that it could be time to remove some, to add some or to mix it up to allow for personal growth. “Your environment is the soil in which you can grow to reach your fullest potential. And who you surround yourself with is such a beautiful yet simple concept to really start living out.”
Justin also encourages people to be selective and create boundaries, but not abandon people or shut them out. “That will just result in you closing off your own heart. Ultimately you are the one who suffers from that because when you’re with the people you really want to be with, they can’t connect with you because you’re closed off.”
Justin advises those on their path to betterment to start paying attention to who’s in their circle, and to who they want to be with on this journey. He says, “I want to be around people that are doing work on themselves and facing change within themselves so they can live in joy and love too. It’s so much easier to go through this with those who understand what you’re going through because they’re going through it too or they’ve already gone through it.”
So when seeking growth, Justin says, “Surround yourself with what you want to create. Find the crowd that is working towards what you want to have and people that are putting themselves out there just like you.” These are the people that will life one another up and celebrate each other’s goals and achievements.